Yes, THE Bruce Dickinson.

Let me tell you about the first time I fell in love. Actually, let me just narrow it down to one moment. It was when I first saw this:

Christopher Walken is my weapon of choice!

Heck yes.

Since then, my love for Christopher Walken, his inability to act, his awesome appearances on SNL, his moves, pretty much everything he has ever done in his entire blessed life, has grown tremendously. So when we watched his “Best of” DVD from his times as a host on SNL, I about cried myself silly. That’s how excited I was.

Has anyone else ever noticed that Christopher Walken always looks and acts really awkward? This is something that I can appreciate. In all of his SNL skits he could not take his eyes off those cue cards. My response? I don’t care in the least bit. Every line is true genius. It seems that Saturday Night Live saved all their best skits (The Continental, The Census, The Cowbell, Mango…) and their best lines for Christopher Walken. I was going to show you some examples but there are just too many good ones.

This isn’t much of a review because there really is only one thing to say about Christopher Walken. Awesome.

ice devouring sex tornado

I have come to terms with the fact that my side of these posts are not going to be all that great. I am planning a really good one for Ong Bak the Thai Warrior so just continue to skim over my entries until then. I am blessed with a fiance who is much funnier than I am, but neither of us are quite as funny as any movie starring Will Ferrell, and certainly not as funny as the cinematic genius that was displayed tonight as the Bear and I watched Blades of Glory.

I just do not have enough good things to say about this movie. I wish I had some weird connection to it, but all I can say is that like any good Will Ferrell movie (and they are all good–except for Old School), it is just stuffed with really good quotable quotes. Anybody who is anybody has already seen this movie, but I will give a brief synopsis anyway. Blades of Glory is about two rival figure skaters who are banned from their division and find a magical ice skating loophole that allows them to compete in figure skating as a pairs team.

It is difficult to describe why exactly this movie appeals to me. It is ridiculous and ofttimes inappropriate. Pretty sure by virtue of the fact that I am female I shouldn’t be laughing at any of this anyway. (Twin dongs?) But the truth is I have a Will Ferrell addiction, especially when he is making a total mockery of things that millions of people around the world cherish (Blades of Glory is to figure skating as Talladega Nights is to Nascar as Superstar is to cheerleading).

Come to think of it, Will Ferrell’s whole purpose in life is probably to make extended full-length feature films out of SNL skits. I think the problem that people have with movies that Will Ferrell is in is that they really are incredibly exaggerated SNL clips. I admit that every movie he is in takes a funny idea and beats the crap out of the proverbial dead horse. I think done by anyone else, that would get tiring. But me, I just keep laughing at the poor dead horse because my man Willy always accompanies it with an endless stream of hilarious lines.

They should probably make a movie about more cowbell, baby. That would be something to see.

Bootmen is next, and the very amusing Stephen is reviewing it, so be excited. We have no idea what it’s about. It was just in our VCR when we got it. And now, the pictures:

BEFORE: Stroganoff and this movie are both yum! Stephen ate his on the way to the couch, apparently.

BEFORE: I guess we were both pretty excited about eating an actual dinner.

AFTER: I give this movie a thumbs up. Steve gives this movie a "Will Ferrell may be a rhi-tard" face. We both give it multiple chins.

I know your tricks, Dewey…

Sup?

You from out of town?

I am going to admit something that many people reading this already know. I love Will Ferrell. Like a lot. Like a lot more than anyone really should. He wears way too much makeup in this movie, Chris Kattan really has most of the really good lines between the two of them, and his hair is uncomfortably unattractive.

Nevertheless, I watch a movie like A Night at the Roxbury and I feel heartsick. I want to be a part of his life. I, too, hold dreams of going to the Roxbury, of starting a club where the inside is outside and the outside is in, of hanging out with the King of 21 Jump Street, of having enough cash to try to bribe a bouncer with four single dollar bills, of staying up until 4 am with nothing but 20 cans of Fluffy Whip by my side. We are like, totally one and the same.

So if you’ve seen this movie, you’ll know that that brief synopsis, the paragraph just above this one, really gives away the entire plot. If this movie could be considered as having one of those. There really is not much to say about this one. But I just really love it. Like with Anchorman before it, and like Blades of Glory, like Zoolander, like any number of Will Ferrell movies, I think the movie is just so quotable, and that’s really the only thing it has going for it. This movie is just good. And I don’t want to brag or anything, but I have really really really really good taste in what movies are good.

I also love to see people who acted together in other movies act together in earlier roles. For instance, one of the customers of the Butabi Silk Flower Shop is Mrs. Geist in Clueless (another on the review list). Mr. Butabi is Cher’s dad in Clueless. Steve Butabi’s way serious girlfriend is played by Clueless‘s own “Amber.” It’s just incredibly special. There were also many actors we would later see in Legally Blonde (a movie I once had on VHS but died with my video collection in 2008): the lesbian, the bend-n-snap girl. It’s special.

This is obviously going nowhere. You should comment anyway since we are now compiling our list for the free wicked exciting DVD giveaway. (Read the last blog before this one for details, yo.)

Overall, I would give this movie three stars. Every time I watch it, it goes down a quarter of a star because I keep waiting for my two favorite lines (“I looooooooooooooooove making out!” and “I know your tricks, Dewey…”) and then once I’ve heard those, I’m just waiting for the next time I can hear them. The rest of my life is obviously a blur. Still fun though. That is all.

BEFORE

Tired. Excited though. But tired.

There were no afters. We took a few but none of them worked out for the WWW.

I love lamp.

That’s right! You guessed it. We watched Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy.

I like this movie. It’s funny. It makes me laugh heartily. I do however have a qualm or 2. I have a hard time enjoying it while I’m watching it with my fiancée. The dirty man movie humor should be watched with men only. I felt bad giggling at the innuendos.

The story line really is the most ridiculous thing in the universe. A bunch of male news reporters have their universes shattered when a woman is offered a position on the news team and they can’t emotionally handle it. If I were to hear what it was about from a friend I wouldn’t want to watch it. However it is redeemed by the simple fact that Will Ferrel and Steve Carell join forces to do battle with the mundane world of boring movies.

The movie itself is the MOST quotable thing in the universe.

“I don’t know quite how to say this but I’m kind of a  big deal… I have many leather-bound books… my apartment smells of rich mahogany.” (Side note, the spell/grammar checking thingy wants me to take out the “a” in “kind of a.” Apparently it’s Asian with a bad sense for how people really say things.)

“I woke up in this chinese family’s den and they would NOT stop screaming.”

“I ate a big red candle”

“I DON’T KNOW WHAT WE’RE YELLING ABOUT!”

Just to put down a few of a plethora of quotes that could make even the most humorless person giggle if they knew the premise of each line.

If I were to look at this movie from a critic’s perspective I would give this one 2 stars but I’m not a movie critic. I’m a human being with a soul. That’s right I imply that critics have no souls. I give this movie 4.37295 stars. I like it. A lot. I think that if you have any sense of humor you’ll enjoy. Unless you don’t like dirty jokes. Then you should not watch it and just smile and nod when people around you quote it.

Well that’s all for this one. You stay classy… planet Earth.