She really will come up here if we don’t go down.

High school “freaking” musical 3

I tried to go into this with the thought that “It might not be all that bad, you were in musicals in high school, what could go wrong? Right?” Well in posing my own conundrum I found my own answer. A lot.

Brittany might read this and say “You know that deep down inside you really liked it!” And she might be right but I don’t think that I go deep enough to find that part of me that did.

Things that were tolerable:

The singing was well performed except for the latin temptress smarty pants during one song. her tone went a little bit too bright and under-developed. I know they were trying to go for child-like innocence but it came off as really unprofessional and poorly rehearsed in my point of view. Mr pretty Efron, I hate to admit, has a very excellent singing voice. His tone was very appropriate for the role and it came off very well. The effeminate choreographer boy also has a set of pipes worthy of praise.

The choreography was alright except for a couple of parts that it was a little bit weird but for the most part it was well executed and the entertainment value definitely struck gold with it’s target audience.

The story line was a bit far fetched at times. Their graduation would never culminate with the execution of the drama club’s musical. Seriously. No school in history… no normal school would do that. There is the exception of the performing arts high school in New York that would probably do that but they are an exception only because that’s what they go there to do. Realistically, in Alberquerque NM there would not exist a school in which the pretty boy jock would dance and sing for the adolescent masses. It just doesn’t happen.

At the end of the show when the Julliard reps came to watch the musical they would not, I repeat, would not condone the raucous behavior demonstrated by the audience at the mere mention of the school’s basketball team. I’m confident that they would have viewed the unprofessional-ism as a blatant disregard for theater etiquette and left prior to the curtain’s descent. That’s all I have to say about that.

The story is thus. The basketball team wins the state championship. The school decides to have  musical. Main boy has to choose between going to school close to the object of his hormonal distress or satiating the desire of his familial leadership. thy have a musical. Lust… I mean… Love prevails and kid chooses girl over family. Drop curtain. Roll credits.

It really didn’t think it was as bad as my testosterone levels would like you to think. I liked that there was the occasional burst into song and dance musical numbers. I use to long for that in  high school. I always thought it would be hilarious. I like that they made the theater kids cool instead of the weirdies that they (to be read we) kind of are.

In the need I give a thumb up. Just one but it is elevated without vigor. If you watch all 3 you might like it.

Tune in next time fro the cinematic wonderment of our next film. The title eludes me at this time but I don’t remember dreading it so really set the little blog reader thing to notify you of our next post. It’ll be worth it.

Scene.

Saffron was tagged in this because when I hear the Effron’s name it reminds me of it.

she has saliva in her mouth

Today’s movie was one that is near and dear to my heart. I am glad that I was the one to get to review it because today, in between 2,500 Sunday naps we watched my favorite movie of all time. Bandits.

I don’t know what it is about this movie that makes me feel so glorious inside. It is so snarky and delicious, and Billy Bob Thornton actually plays a really great character as the hypochondriac who tells someone mid-bank robbery that the teller is out sick with vaginitis and cuts the spaghetti of one of the bank president’s children at dinner. It just seems so unpredictable (I say that now, after seeing it some odd 23 times) and so smart.

What I love about Bandits is it doesn’t stoop to the classic comedic fillers. There is no farting or incessant swearing. Every line is delivered with a straight face, as when the characters Terry and Harvey are sitting on the front porch and Terry asks Harvey if he thinks he is achieving their goal of being inconspicuous. Harvey, decked out in a white cowboy hat, white snakeskin boots, and a bright blue Elvis jumpsuit, responds: “Absolutely. Do you like my boots?” Classic.

If you are going to watch only part of this movie, I would suggest watching the last fifteen minutes. The last fifteen minutes of this movie is about the best last fifteen minutes of any movie ever made. Everything is wrapped up into a neat little package and somehow I am always surprised at how it all comes together. Like I said before, totally unpredictable. Totally great. Especially after movies like When in Rome and The Proposal and a whole slieu of Nicholas Sparks books-turned-movies.

I feel inspired to add the following spoiler alert for any Nicholas Sparks movies ever made: They fall in love and then one of them gets cancer and dies. That is his template. Enjoy. You will not see Nights in Rodanthe, A Walk to Remember, or The Last Song on this list ever, ever, ever. The reason why? Because I can cover reviews of all of those movies with one review that consists of the following sentence: People getting sick and dying, leaving behind their loved ones, is lame. No stars.

Oh yeah, Bandits. So the soundtrack is also delightful. Ten stars for Bob Dylan. And so is Cate Blanchett. Ten stars for Bob Dylan. Please stay tuned for next time, when Papa Bear gets to review Batman Begins. I might die. I had to watch this like a week ago. Life = could be over.